Ahh...The Good Times and The Bad times

Today it is totally freezing out side...9 degrees to be exact. It is snowing and our neighborhood looks so pretty and peaceful with all the snow. The girls have been asking me if they can go outside and play in the snow. My answer is that is has to get warmer before we can go outside. They want to build a snowman so much they can hardly stand it! Unfortunately because it is so cold outside, it makes for a rather light and powdery snow, not really good for snowmen building. We'll see, maybe we can get outside and make a small one.

The girls were so cute after lunch today. They brought about 10-12 stuffed animals out of their rooms, lined them up across the couch and then pretended to be leading them in singing time. My guess is they are imitating music time at their mother's day out program. I was able to discreetly video tape them while I was sitting at the kitchen table. If I'm holding the camera, all they want to do is see themselves on the video screen, so I had to be sly and set up the camera on the table. It worked! I caught them singing several songs, loudly, and they were totally unaware that they were being videoed. I'll have to put that footage on DVD and send it out to our family, they'll love it!

After all the singing and happily playing together, it was time for a nap. That's when the good behavior went straight to bad. I don't know what goes through their minds, but Savannah especially seems to have a strong willed streak. When I was changing her diaper she decided to kick the decorative letters on the wall above the changing table. She's done this before and knocked a few off the wall, and one broke (it's wood, so I have no idea what happened). This time she took off about 3 letters. I had warned her to stop or we would take the letters off the wall for awhile. About 2 minutes later, she looks at me and kicks the letters again--this time really hard. I got mad, gave her a couple of swats and now all of the letters in her name have come down from the wall. Makes the room look really blah, but I don't know what else to do. Her behavior is so frustrating sometimes. It's really hard to deal with when she gets that way.

I realized something over the weekend. Our girls are a total delight to be with when we get to spend individual time with each girl (it happens so rarely). I had such a great time with Emily on Saturday. Seth took Savannah grocery shopping with him and I stayed home with Emily. We didn't do anything special, all she wanted to do was hang out in the kitchen with me, drawing, while I cooked lunch. It was so different than when both girls are together. I can see why other couples pursue more children once their first child hits 2 years old. It makes me sad that our girls are so competitive for my attention, and often so mean to each other on a daily basis. I can only hope that will change as they get older and are a little more mature. It scares me to think what their behavior might be like if we added another child to our family. So, for now, 2 is all I can handle, unless God suddenly has other plans for me.

Funny Statements From Little Girls

So today I was talking to Emily and she told me her bottom hurt. I asked her if it was her diaper rash and she said yes. Then she yells "My butt hurts!". I then say to her, "Emily, in our house we say bottom". To which she replied, "At Grandma's house we say butt!". That pretty much sent me into a laughing fit. Now I know where she's been hearing the word butt used. Seth and I have been trying to figure it out, and the girls, especially Emily, seems to have great fun saying the word. Neither he or I use that word when we change their diapers, so my next guess was the Mother's Day Out program...but I really didn't think that would be the word of choice with the teachers. So, Grandma's to blame for this one--now we just have to figure out which Grandma says it. We're really not upset about it, it's really funny actually, we just couldn't figure out where they had heard the word butt.

Being A Mom Is Really Hard Sometimes

Since Saturday, both girls have been sick with the yucky stomach virus that's been going around. I have changed diapers more times in the past few days than I have in an entire week! The poor girls tummies hurt and their little bottoms are red with diaper rash, no matter how much diaper cream I put on them. To make things worse, they are grouchy and totally uncooperative. Not sure if all of that is due to being sick, or if they are just having one of those days. They are not getting along at all today. Savannah has wanted me all to herself and she gets mad when I attend to Emily. It's so frustrating! I've been noticing that lately Savannah has been exhibiting some bully-type behavior toward Emily. I don't know how to get that to stop. I think it may be because in the past several weeks, Emily has had a little more attention due to her allergic reactions and illness. It's hard to make a 2 year old understand that you love her just as much as her sister, but sometimes you need to help the other one more than the other. I know eventually this will get easier, but when?

So, I've cried twice today, lost my temper with Savannah after she continued to bite Emily after I repeatedly told her no and to stop. I don't spank my girls very often, but Savannah got a spanking today... and now I feel like a horrible mom. It was a harder spanking than probably needed, and I was mad at the time. I know that's when it's best not to spank, but my fuse was short and it happened. I did try to talk to her and tell her I still love her even if I get mad. I don't really know if a 2 year old really gets that kind of thinking yet or not.

And to top off my really hard day, I'm dealing with a sprained left wrist. A few days ago I was lifting Emily into her highchair and I felt my wrist give out under her weight and it bent in an odd manner...and then the pain and swelling--OUCH!!! I iced it and put an ace bandage on it until the next day. It was feeling a little better, but yesterday I tried to lift Savannah and I think I aggravated the injury. So, mommy is grouchy today too--and hurting. The girls don't understand, nor accept the fact that I cannot lift them and hold them a lot today. They say "Mommy up" and I say, sorry I can't lift you today, please climb into my lap, or please use the step stool...then a major tantrum usually follows.

So, my theme for today is that being a mom is really hard sometimes.