Wow, a few weeks ago, it really hit me. Emily and Savannah will turn 5 years old in September. Where did the time go? I know for the past two years, things were rough with my depression, but now things are so much better and I am really enjoying all my time with the girls. It seems like this year just sped by way too quickly. I think I am starting to freak out a little...really feeling sad that the baby/toddler/preschool years are almost through. It seemed like it would take forever for them to be 5 years old and now in a few short months it will be upon us. They won't start Kindergarten for another year, so at least I will still have them home most of the time, but that doesn't seem like enough. Do all parents feel like this about their first born children? Or does this feeling come with each child, no matter how many children their parents have?
I've been thinking a lot about this. Am I finally at a point where I may want to add a child to our family? I've considered international adoption recently, but after doing extensive research, I'm just not sure that will be a realistic option financially. Seth wasn't too excited about the idea. In his words, it just seems difficult to go that route. Now, I have no problem having more children naturally, but I really felt there are children out in the world who really a need a loving home, and I was willing to be a part of giving a child a home...if it were just that easy.
So, now I find myself evaluating our situation. Can we afford another child, even if we go the biological route? Am I ready to be a stay a full-time stay at home mom for another 5-6 years? Will I have the energy? So many things to think about...and trying to think without emotionally charged reasoning is difficult. I never "planned" on having more than 2 kids, but I also never "planned" on having those 2 at the same time either. So, I guess I'll just pray about it for now. Pray for direction. Pray for peace about my girls growing up, enjoying each moment and age.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Post Disaster Thoughts
On May 22, 2011 at 5:41pm, an F5 tornado ripped through my hometown of Joplin, MO. My parents still live there. The tornado missed their neighborhood by 3 blocks. Two blocks over, there were trees down on top of houses and in yards. It's amazing my parents' home was not damaged. At the time of the tornado, my dad was taking cover in the kitchen pantry as their house does not have a basement, nor did many of the homes that were destroyed. My mom was at the college, finishing up the JHS graduation duties. She, along with her co-workers and families/students who had not yet received their official deploma, were told to go to the basement and they stayed there until the storm was over. She came home to a house with no power, so she did not yet know of the extent of the damage the tornado had done to Joplin. I logged in to facebook and immediately started messaging all my friends from high school to find out if they and their families were okay. Most were, some had parents whose homes had been heavily damaged, but thankfully they all were alive.
I received a call around 7:00pm and she told us there had been a tornado, but they were okay. She had not heard from her co-worker who had just dropped her off at home. I turned on the news after getting our girls in bed. I saw the reports and the photos of many areas that had been damaged. I immediately called my mom back and told her how bad it was. It wasn't until the next day that she and my dad were able to see the damage. There were many family friends they still had not heard from yet, so we were all worried. I think I called my mom six times throughout that Monday checking to see if she had heard from people. She updated me on the status of the damage she had seen first hand, including that of my old high school and her now former workplace. I continued to watch the news reports and hear the stories coming out of Joplin. It was then that I just up and decided I was going to do something to help. The first thing that came to mind was to contact my old church in Joplin to find out what the needs were. Then I sent out three emails to my friends, JCMOMs, and Aldersgate Preschool. I was collecting supplies to take to Joplin later that week and put out a list of needed items and offered to come pick them up. Wow, God provides in ways I never imagined. I had such a huge response, we needed at least two vehicles to transport all the donations to Joplin. I had to leave a car load at my house. I never anticipated getting that many donations. What a wonderful problem to have!
On May 26, Seth, the girls, and our two dogs, drove down to Joplin. When I turned off 7th Street to go to their neighborhood, I just stopped. Up the street I saw the damage. My best friend's old neighborhood was gone! I couldn't believe it. We picked my mom us and went to three locations to drop off donated supplies. Then we went back home to give the girls some play time and Seth and I began cleaning up debris from my parents yard. Among the items we found in the yard were torn wedding pictures from someone's home, a boy's senior picture, a drawing done by a young child named Whitney B., a homemade photo frame with a child's picture in it, and a class picture from Cecil Floyd Elementary from the year 2003. We don't know who these people are, and pray that they were not injured or killed in the tornado. We continued to pick up large pieces of tree bark, siding and insulation from a house, large chunks of splintered wood, roofing shingles, pieces of glass and plastic, etc. It took us 2 hours to clean up the front yard.
The next day we finally ventured near the disaster area, mainly because we needed to get across town and the tornado had cut right through the middle of Joplin, so it was hard to avoid. Upon driving to the top of hill at 15th and Connecticut, we finally saw just how bad the damage was. It was the most horrible sight I have ever seen in my entire life. Everything recognizable was gone. Just gone. The trees that were left standing had been completely stripped of their bark and were basically a trunk with a few jagged areas sticking out, the rest of the trees were no longer there. All the homes I had been accustomed to driving by everyday when I was growing up were reduced to piles of rubble. It looked as though a bomb had been dropped and everything was destroyed. 20th and Connecticut area was even worse. Tears welled up in my eyes, wondering how anyone could have survived. A friend's old apartment complex was gone, the Fast Trip where I used to get gas was destroyed, the Kindercare Daycare was no longer recognizable, nor was the Commerce Bank, the insurance offices, or any other business that had once been there. I looked down 20th Street to realize the Dillons grocery store was heavily damaged as were all of the surrounding homes. Just unending vastness...
Later we would then drive by the high school, which was destroyed along with the surrounding neighborhoods. It looked like a landfill. We drove down main street, only to find out any place we would have normally frequented was utterly destroyed...and at 26th and Main St. you could St. John's hospital in the near distance--that would not have been the norm any other time. As we continued to drive, I saw cars, crumpled, thrown on top of piles of rubble. Again, I thought to myself how did anyone survive? Later that evening, we ended up driving down Rangeline Rd to get to the other end of town--most other North/South streets had been closed off at 9PM to help keep looting down and prevent other tragedies. We drove past the Home Depot and I just started crying. It was nothing but a pile of steel an broken pieces of walls. Cars littered the side of the road, torn up and crunched. Many of the restaurants my family had eaten at all the years I lived with then were either gone or badly damaged. We drove by the Wal-mart and realized the Burger King nearby was literally gone--all that was standing to let us know it was BK was a few pieces of twisted play equipment from their play-place. Car dealerships were damaged, gas stations nothing but twisted pieces of metal, everywhere you looked there was complete disaster.
I can say, until you've seen such destruction, you don't know what we take for granted and realize our time here on earth is short. I've been saddened deeply for those who had to experience such a horrible and frightening event. The stories I heard about students from the high school have been on my heart. Once everyone in the school district had been accounted for, they announced 1 employee and 7 students had died in the tornado. I have a friend whose grandmother was also killed. Several of my friends parents are now without homes. One friend had been in the house with her family when the tornado came through and now when her daughter hears thunder, she runs screaming and crying to her mom--filled with fear that another horrible storm will happen again. Just heart breaking.
I know it may not make sense to many people, but I have been sad all week long since returning form Joplin this past Saturday. I have a history there, and now many places I have memories of are gone. While I did not know most people who died, I feel so deeply for their families and friends. It has left a lasting impression on me...and I will never forget the images of all the destruction. One night this week, I was so distraught and began to grieve for everyone affected. I was on my knees, crying, and praying for God to take care of everyone who was left to deal with the aftermath of the tornado. All I did was take supplies to distribution centers. It hardly feels like enough. If I didn't have small children to take care of, I would have stayed for days, volunteering in anyway needed. I found myself feeling very guilty for driving back home to our nice neighborhood. I plan to drive down in a few weeks and will help out if there is an area I can help in. Until, then, I am encouraged by all those who have gone to help and to those who are still there helping.
In trying to make sense of all this, I picked up my Bible and just opened it. This is where I ended up: Ecclesiastes Chapter 3. I would like to share the text with you as I found it extremely applicable, and this is where I will end my post.
Ecclesiastes Ch. 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
15 Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.[b]
16 And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
17 I said to myself,
“God will bring into judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time to judge every deed.”
18 I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath[c]; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”
22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?
I received a call around 7:00pm and she told us there had been a tornado, but they were okay. She had not heard from her co-worker who had just dropped her off at home. I turned on the news after getting our girls in bed. I saw the reports and the photos of many areas that had been damaged. I immediately called my mom back and told her how bad it was. It wasn't until the next day that she and my dad were able to see the damage. There were many family friends they still had not heard from yet, so we were all worried. I think I called my mom six times throughout that Monday checking to see if she had heard from people. She updated me on the status of the damage she had seen first hand, including that of my old high school and her now former workplace. I continued to watch the news reports and hear the stories coming out of Joplin. It was then that I just up and decided I was going to do something to help. The first thing that came to mind was to contact my old church in Joplin to find out what the needs were. Then I sent out three emails to my friends, JCMOMs, and Aldersgate Preschool. I was collecting supplies to take to Joplin later that week and put out a list of needed items and offered to come pick them up. Wow, God provides in ways I never imagined. I had such a huge response, we needed at least two vehicles to transport all the donations to Joplin. I had to leave a car load at my house. I never anticipated getting that many donations. What a wonderful problem to have!
On May 26, Seth, the girls, and our two dogs, drove down to Joplin. When I turned off 7th Street to go to their neighborhood, I just stopped. Up the street I saw the damage. My best friend's old neighborhood was gone! I couldn't believe it. We picked my mom us and went to three locations to drop off donated supplies. Then we went back home to give the girls some play time and Seth and I began cleaning up debris from my parents yard. Among the items we found in the yard were torn wedding pictures from someone's home, a boy's senior picture, a drawing done by a young child named Whitney B., a homemade photo frame with a child's picture in it, and a class picture from Cecil Floyd Elementary from the year 2003. We don't know who these people are, and pray that they were not injured or killed in the tornado. We continued to pick up large pieces of tree bark, siding and insulation from a house, large chunks of splintered wood, roofing shingles, pieces of glass and plastic, etc. It took us 2 hours to clean up the front yard.
The next day we finally ventured near the disaster area, mainly because we needed to get across town and the tornado had cut right through the middle of Joplin, so it was hard to avoid. Upon driving to the top of hill at 15th and Connecticut, we finally saw just how bad the damage was. It was the most horrible sight I have ever seen in my entire life. Everything recognizable was gone. Just gone. The trees that were left standing had been completely stripped of their bark and were basically a trunk with a few jagged areas sticking out, the rest of the trees were no longer there. All the homes I had been accustomed to driving by everyday when I was growing up were reduced to piles of rubble. It looked as though a bomb had been dropped and everything was destroyed. 20th and Connecticut area was even worse. Tears welled up in my eyes, wondering how anyone could have survived. A friend's old apartment complex was gone, the Fast Trip where I used to get gas was destroyed, the Kindercare Daycare was no longer recognizable, nor was the Commerce Bank, the insurance offices, or any other business that had once been there. I looked down 20th Street to realize the Dillons grocery store was heavily damaged as were all of the surrounding homes. Just unending vastness...
Later we would then drive by the high school, which was destroyed along with the surrounding neighborhoods. It looked like a landfill. We drove down main street, only to find out any place we would have normally frequented was utterly destroyed...and at 26th and Main St. you could St. John's hospital in the near distance--that would not have been the norm any other time. As we continued to drive, I saw cars, crumpled, thrown on top of piles of rubble. Again, I thought to myself how did anyone survive? Later that evening, we ended up driving down Rangeline Rd to get to the other end of town--most other North/South streets had been closed off at 9PM to help keep looting down and prevent other tragedies. We drove past the Home Depot and I just started crying. It was nothing but a pile of steel an broken pieces of walls. Cars littered the side of the road, torn up and crunched. Many of the restaurants my family had eaten at all the years I lived with then were either gone or badly damaged. We drove by the Wal-mart and realized the Burger King nearby was literally gone--all that was standing to let us know it was BK was a few pieces of twisted play equipment from their play-place. Car dealerships were damaged, gas stations nothing but twisted pieces of metal, everywhere you looked there was complete disaster.
I can say, until you've seen such destruction, you don't know what we take for granted and realize our time here on earth is short. I've been saddened deeply for those who had to experience such a horrible and frightening event. The stories I heard about students from the high school have been on my heart. Once everyone in the school district had been accounted for, they announced 1 employee and 7 students had died in the tornado. I have a friend whose grandmother was also killed. Several of my friends parents are now without homes. One friend had been in the house with her family when the tornado came through and now when her daughter hears thunder, she runs screaming and crying to her mom--filled with fear that another horrible storm will happen again. Just heart breaking.
I know it may not make sense to many people, but I have been sad all week long since returning form Joplin this past Saturday. I have a history there, and now many places I have memories of are gone. While I did not know most people who died, I feel so deeply for their families and friends. It has left a lasting impression on me...and I will never forget the images of all the destruction. One night this week, I was so distraught and began to grieve for everyone affected. I was on my knees, crying, and praying for God to take care of everyone who was left to deal with the aftermath of the tornado. All I did was take supplies to distribution centers. It hardly feels like enough. If I didn't have small children to take care of, I would have stayed for days, volunteering in anyway needed. I found myself feeling very guilty for driving back home to our nice neighborhood. I plan to drive down in a few weeks and will help out if there is an area I can help in. Until, then, I am encouraged by all those who have gone to help and to those who are still there helping.
In trying to make sense of all this, I picked up my Bible and just opened it. This is where I ended up: Ecclesiastes Chapter 3. I would like to share the text with you as I found it extremely applicable, and this is where I will end my post.
Ecclesiastes Ch. 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
15 Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.[b]
16 And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
17 I said to myself,
“God will bring into judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time to judge every deed.”
18 I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath[c]; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”
22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?
Monday, March 7, 2011
God Is Working
So for the last few months I've felt some kind of change is coming. First it seemed Seth's job change was it. Then, the sudden onset of more peaceful times in our house seemed to be it. The girls are more manageable now, our interactions with each other are much more positive and loving than testing the limits of how much "no!" I could take and how much "no!" they could accept. Things are good. I am now tapering off of the antidepressants and hope to never need them again. But something else is stirring in my life. God is working and right now I'm just not sure what he's doing yet, but it's going to be big, I just have this feeling. So I for now, I'm trying to be patient, praying more about direction in life, if I should return to school to pursue another degree, or if my purpose is to continue staying home, making me more available to help people on much more flexible schedule. God is working on me...and it's going to be big.
Monday, January 10, 2011
New Year, New Hope
So, I've basically not posted to this blog for almost a year. Last year I went through a bad round of depression, so I took a break from posting. I can say, at first I thought I was just really stressed out and that was the source of all my frustration and anger, etc. But, it just seemed I was really not happy. So I went to my doctor and asked him to evaluate me for possible depression. Turns out, yes, I was probably dealing with some depression. Afterall, I am a stay at home mom of twins, now only 4 years old. Those first few years were stressful, and having two kids going through the terrible twos and threes at the same time was often overwhelming. The doctor pointed out that being under stress for prolonged periods of time can cause depression. He also told me he sees quite a few moms with multiples in his office for the exact same thing. That made me feel better. He told me he thought my depression was mild--moderate and prescribed an antidepressant. I was a big apprehensive about the medication because of all the potential side effects, but went ahead and took it just to see if I noticed a difference. All I can say now is wow, what a difference! I went from being angry, frustrated, ovewhelmed, to occassionally annoyed. Now, I must be honest, I have experienced some of the common side effects from the medication, but I'm willing to put up with it for awhile because the benefit from the medication far outweighs the side effects.
In addition to the medication, I requested a counseling referral. I would like to manage things better on my own and hopefully not have to rely on medication all the time. In June, I completed 5 months of counseling. I learned a few techniques for managing my frustrations, as well as just realizing I am doing so many things right when it comes to parenting, it's just that I have really strong willed kids that have a persistence to challenge me all the time. Good news is, this seems to only happen with Seth and I and thankfully it is not a problem at the girls' preschool or church.
Looking forward to a better year in 2011!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Statements from Savannah
Savannah is upset this morning. She has lost her toy ring. She's been looking all over the living room and kitchen and still can't find it. I suggest to her that maybe she dropped it and it went under the couch. She frustratingly responds, "Mom! It doesn't have legs!". Hahahahahaha! I then rephrase my sentence and say maybe it rolled under the couch. 3 year olds have such a funny take on life sometimes.
Friday, February 5, 2010
A 3 year old's perspective on cooking.
Yesterday I was getting out things to make meat loaf for dinner and Emily comes running into the kitchen very excited. She gets out her apron and then enthusiastically asks, "Can I help make? What are you making? I want to help make!" Make? Does she mean bake? I tell her I'm not baking anything and explain I'm mixing together the meatloaf. She still wants to help. I then have to explain that it's not a safe idea for little kids to touch raw meat, so she can't help this time. She got really sad and then says, "But I really want to make somthing, what can I make?". So cute, Emily and Savannah both love to help me bake cookies. I guess they think working with food is called "making". I can see the reasoning behind that, for example, I'll ask them if they want to help make some cookies, or tell them I need to go make dinner. Maybe I'll have to plan some fun cookies or cupcakes to bake...or um...make?
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sweet girl
Savannah can be so sweet sometimes. Today, I'm sick with a cold, and at snack time offered Savannah an orange. She tells me I can have the first bite of orange to help me get better. What a sweet little girl.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Potty training update
The first two days of potty training were good. The third...well, not so good. And now on the 5th day, I'm having to fight them to go when it's time to practice. They are not keeping their pull-ups dry anymore and they are back to pooping in the pull-up and then telling me they don't have poop in their pants when they really do. Seriously?! Who in their right mind likes sitting in poop for over an hour?! I'm just having a really difficult time and very frustrating moment. Savannah and Emily think it's hilarious to call me "butt" or "poop". In fact, everytime I ask them to do something or tell them we are going to do something, Savannah's response has been , "Okay, butt". I have told her I don't like to be called that and it doesn't sound nice. I have also told her if she keeps saying "butt" and calling me names that she will have to go stand in the bathroom until she can use nice words. I have told her "butt" and "poop" are potty words that are okay to say in the bathroom when they are using the potty chair or toilet, but we shouldn't call someone those words. I don't know how else to explain that it's just not good to call someone a butt or poop.
So, here I am, trying to get them to use the potty chair again and they start with the potty talk and name calling. I took away, TV, I took away music, and I even told them they would go in time out. Still, they continued to call me butt. Then when I told Savannah to stop ripping the toilet paper into tiny little pieces and throwing it on the floor, she looks at me and says, "no butto!". What a brat! Eariler today she spit in my face all because she didn't want me to get her toilet paper when she was sitting on the potty chair. I told no spitting on Mommy, and she looks at me and spits in my face again. Needless to say she got a spanking. ARGH!! I don't know what to do when some of these situations come up. I try to take the calm approach and it almost never works. My girls are just so stubborn that they don't seem to care if they lose fun things...and saddly the only option left is spanking. I hate that.
So, here I am, trying to get them to use the potty chair again and they start with the potty talk and name calling. I took away, TV, I took away music, and I even told them they would go in time out. Still, they continued to call me butt. Then when I told Savannah to stop ripping the toilet paper into tiny little pieces and throwing it on the floor, she looks at me and says, "no butto!". What a brat! Eariler today she spit in my face all because she didn't want me to get her toilet paper when she was sitting on the potty chair. I told no spitting on Mommy, and she looks at me and spits in my face again. Needless to say she got a spanking. ARGH!! I don't know what to do when some of these situations come up. I try to take the calm approach and it almost never works. My girls are just so stubborn that they don't seem to care if they lose fun things...and saddly the only option left is spanking. I hate that.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Another potty training attempt
So I've decided to give it another go. This time I have a sticker chart to help motivate my girls. They are almost 39 months old...so I'm hoping they will just keep on with using the potty chair or toilet and not go back to pull-ups. So far it's going well. Emily had her very first poop in the big toilet today. She was so happy, this is what she said to me, "Mom, I had lots of poo-poo in the toilet! I'm so proud of myself! Now I'm a big girl!"
It's a bit exhausting to try to potty train them both at the same time, but they are in phase where if one gets something, then the other thinks she deserves it too. So, by offering them chances to earn stickers everytime they use the potty chair or toilet, I'm hoping they will encourage each other and be proud they are becoming big girls.
It's a bit exhausting to try to potty train them both at the same time, but they are in phase where if one gets something, then the other thinks she deserves it too. So, by offering them chances to earn stickers everytime they use the potty chair or toilet, I'm hoping they will encourage each other and be proud they are becoming big girls.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Sweet Awakening
This morning, Savannah greeted Seth at the bedroom door before he went off to work and sweetly told him "goodbye Daddy" and he told her he loved her and she replied "me too Daddy" which is her way of saying I love you too.
Then she climbed into bed with me and laid down next to me, and said "I love you mommy, I like your hugs and kisses and snuggles. You're the best mommy in the whole world!". Then she gave me a hug and a kiss. What a great way to wake up! Such an awesome start to my day.
Then she climbed into bed with me and laid down next to me, and said "I love you mommy, I like your hugs and kisses and snuggles. You're the best mommy in the whole world!". Then she gave me a hug and a kiss. What a great way to wake up! Such an awesome start to my day.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Anger Venting Session!
I am so angry with both of my girls right now. I could just scream--if only my voice would come back so I could do so! Seth and I have been dealing with this newer "testing" behavior with both girls and I think it's reached it's high point.
Today, I wanted to take the girls to Target to pick out a toy for the Toys for Tots box at our dentist's office. I thought it would be a neat way to teach them about giving. Well, we never made it inside the store. As we pull into the parking lot, Emily starts using potty words--freely, almost in a sing-song name calling kind of way. We have been having a problem with this kind of talk (i.e calling someone a bottom or butt, and now poop). Mainly Emily and Savannah both seem to use this language at the dinner table. They get this really aurnery laugh--almost cackling laugh (I'm not exaggerating) and then you know that bad behavior is about to follow (at least I get a warning signal, right?). So, in the van Emily is saying these words over and over and just laughing and laughing and of course Savannah joins in. I try to remind them that it's not okay to talk that way outside of the bathroom. They just laugh and say, "Okay, bottom!".
So, now I'm getting really mad. I give them a warning not to say those words for call people names or they won't get to watch TV tomorrow morning. What does that do? Emily ups the pace and is now saying these words over and over, fast, in many variations of poop, butt, and bottom. So I take away TV. Still Emily keeps on and so does Savannah, I take away Halloween candy, no change. I take away playing outside, still no change. So, I then tell them that I will not take them into the store with them talking with potty words. STILL NO CHANGE! For the next 10 minutes, Emily and Savannah keep saying butt, bottom, and poop over and over, directly disobeying me. I am seething with anger at this point. Finally Emily then says, "Okay I'm done saying those words now". Savannah keeps on and then Emily again begins saying the potty words. So, I start the van back up, pull out of the parking lot and basically I'm yelling at the girls at this point--telling them they are acting bad and I will not go to the store with them when they are disobeying mommy and using potty words. When we got home, I sent them to their rooms and told them I didn't want to be around them when they were talking with potty words. What does Emily do? She looks at me and says, "Butt!". She got a spanking and then I told her she couldn't come out of her room for awhile. They have been sitting up in their rooms for the past 10 minutes and I am still angry. Right now I really feel like I could just leave them up their for another 2 hours until Seth gets home...and then leave, by myself to go to the store and get our necessities and totally forget the toys for tots teaching moment.
I am so sick of everywhere we go, my girls totally disobeying me and acting crazy and using words that don't sound nice. Seriously I have almost chosen to become home bound during the day because they have been acting so badly. It's frustrating to say the least. I don't know what to do to correct it, I've tried all the giving options and choices. If you warn Emily she'll have to go in time-out for disobeying, she'll look you in the face, continue to disobey and then tell you "I'll just go put myself in time-out", and she says it with a smile. ARRGGHHH!!! What am I doing wrong?!?!?!?
Today, I wanted to take the girls to Target to pick out a toy for the Toys for Tots box at our dentist's office. I thought it would be a neat way to teach them about giving. Well, we never made it inside the store. As we pull into the parking lot, Emily starts using potty words--freely, almost in a sing-song name calling kind of way. We have been having a problem with this kind of talk (i.e calling someone a bottom or butt, and now poop). Mainly Emily and Savannah both seem to use this language at the dinner table. They get this really aurnery laugh--almost cackling laugh (I'm not exaggerating) and then you know that bad behavior is about to follow (at least I get a warning signal, right?). So, in the van Emily is saying these words over and over and just laughing and laughing and of course Savannah joins in. I try to remind them that it's not okay to talk that way outside of the bathroom. They just laugh and say, "Okay, bottom!".
So, now I'm getting really mad. I give them a warning not to say those words for call people names or they won't get to watch TV tomorrow morning. What does that do? Emily ups the pace and is now saying these words over and over, fast, in many variations of poop, butt, and bottom. So I take away TV. Still Emily keeps on and so does Savannah, I take away Halloween candy, no change. I take away playing outside, still no change. So, I then tell them that I will not take them into the store with them talking with potty words. STILL NO CHANGE! For the next 10 minutes, Emily and Savannah keep saying butt, bottom, and poop over and over, directly disobeying me. I am seething with anger at this point. Finally Emily then says, "Okay I'm done saying those words now". Savannah keeps on and then Emily again begins saying the potty words. So, I start the van back up, pull out of the parking lot and basically I'm yelling at the girls at this point--telling them they are acting bad and I will not go to the store with them when they are disobeying mommy and using potty words. When we got home, I sent them to their rooms and told them I didn't want to be around them when they were talking with potty words. What does Emily do? She looks at me and says, "Butt!". She got a spanking and then I told her she couldn't come out of her room for awhile. They have been sitting up in their rooms for the past 10 minutes and I am still angry. Right now I really feel like I could just leave them up their for another 2 hours until Seth gets home...and then leave, by myself to go to the store and get our necessities and totally forget the toys for tots teaching moment.
I am so sick of everywhere we go, my girls totally disobeying me and acting crazy and using words that don't sound nice. Seriously I have almost chosen to become home bound during the day because they have been acting so badly. It's frustrating to say the least. I don't know what to do to correct it, I've tried all the giving options and choices. If you warn Emily she'll have to go in time-out for disobeying, she'll look you in the face, continue to disobey and then tell you "I'll just go put myself in time-out", and she says it with a smile. ARRGGHHH!!! What am I doing wrong?!?!?!?
Friday, October 30, 2009
They'll be in diapers until they are 20!
So, we just moved almost 3 weeks ago, and I haven't really hit the potty training thing very hard since early this summer. I've made the potty chairs available and even bought the small toilet seats to put on the big toilets. Sometimes they use them, some times they don't. Now, almost every time I tell my girls it's time for a diaper/pull-up change they throw a big fit and fight with me during the whole process. Even with a poopy diaper, they are content to sit in yucky poop mush for over an hour--often until their poor little skin is red and raw. What is the deal here? Why do they resist so much? I just don't understand. When I suggest using the potty chair I get a loud "No!", and then I offer the toilet...same response. I'm convinced that Emily and Savannah will be happily content to stay in diapers until they are 20 years old! The problem is that they are almost too big for the traditional sized pull-ups and diapers. Something has got to give.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Two 3yr olds and a paint store.
Do I really need to say anything more? Be forewarned--vent session about to begin! So, the 3's are really taking hold of my girls these days...either that or it's the fact our lives have been in total chaos with our quick sale of our home and rush to find another one. We move in to the new house in 5 days. Boxes and laundry are all over our current house--oh yeah along with every toy my girls own! I've packed tons of their toys and the fewer toys they have available to play with, the more they seem to spread them throughout the house. Behavior later has been challenging. Lots of direct defiance going on. It's different than a few months ago. It's almost like I can see them doing something wrong...while being warned to stop, and then taking a few seconds to think about it, and choosing to do it anyway. What's with that? Then, when they get in trouble they cry and act as if the world has ended. I keep telling them to do what I say and they still get fun things, choose to not to do what I say and get things taken away. It hasn't made much of a difference. I do simplify it and reword it and the result is always the same.
So, today I took the girls to a paint store to pick out paint colors for their rooms and bathroom. What did they do while I was speaking with a staff person? Run wildly all over the store! They took out over 40 paint color chips and scattered them all over the shelves and floor. When I told them to stop they would just look at me and then take another chip. I would then take away the chip and they'd get mad and sit on the floor. Then I would go back to talking with the staff person about paint colors--all while trying to juggle 3 pillow cases and a bath towel and shower curtain. The chaos resumes...I tried sitting them in chairs so I could finish up choosing my colors. No good. The girls then were standing in the chairs, crawling under the chairs and under the tables...and yes more running in the store. I was getting so embarrassed! My kids were totally disobeying me and I felt I had no control, nor any respect from them. I hate that feeling. When it was time to pay for the paint, Emily and Savannah were playing tag in the store. I pulled Savannah aside to stand next to me. She stayed, Emily on the other hand, just grinned and ran away from me.
I repeatedly apologized to the paint store staff and then tried to leave, hands full of paint can, and pillow cases, etc. and my girls decide to run out into the parking lot! AAAAAHHHH! Scary! I yelled at them to stop, Savannah stopped, Emily took it as a challenge, paused, and kept going. I got the van door open and almost tossed them both into their seats. Then the struggle began. They both tried to fight me on getting into their car seats. Emily even jumped out of the van! Argh! I was getting so mad by then. All during this process I took TV watching away, no listening to music, and put a stuffed toy in time-out. I was fuming at this point. I finally got the girls buckled in. I was practically shaking I was so frustrated. I cannot believe they were acting so badly!
I have no idea what to do. Nothing seems to make them listen and obey. Spanking even doesn't always work, unless it's a really hard spanking, but I don't like to do that because I'm usually spanking out of anger. What am I supposed to do? Stay home-bound during the day until Seth comes home? I'm sorry, I just don't feel like that's realistic. My kids have to learn how to behave in public. Suggestions?
So, today I took the girls to a paint store to pick out paint colors for their rooms and bathroom. What did they do while I was speaking with a staff person? Run wildly all over the store! They took out over 40 paint color chips and scattered them all over the shelves and floor. When I told them to stop they would just look at me and then take another chip. I would then take away the chip and they'd get mad and sit on the floor. Then I would go back to talking with the staff person about paint colors--all while trying to juggle 3 pillow cases and a bath towel and shower curtain. The chaos resumes...I tried sitting them in chairs so I could finish up choosing my colors. No good. The girls then were standing in the chairs, crawling under the chairs and under the tables...and yes more running in the store. I was getting so embarrassed! My kids were totally disobeying me and I felt I had no control, nor any respect from them. I hate that feeling. When it was time to pay for the paint, Emily and Savannah were playing tag in the store. I pulled Savannah aside to stand next to me. She stayed, Emily on the other hand, just grinned and ran away from me.
I repeatedly apologized to the paint store staff and then tried to leave, hands full of paint can, and pillow cases, etc. and my girls decide to run out into the parking lot! AAAAAHHHH! Scary! I yelled at them to stop, Savannah stopped, Emily took it as a challenge, paused, and kept going. I got the van door open and almost tossed them both into their seats. Then the struggle began. They both tried to fight me on getting into their car seats. Emily even jumped out of the van! Argh! I was getting so mad by then. All during this process I took TV watching away, no listening to music, and put a stuffed toy in time-out. I was fuming at this point. I finally got the girls buckled in. I was practically shaking I was so frustrated. I cannot believe they were acting so badly!
I have no idea what to do. Nothing seems to make them listen and obey. Spanking even doesn't always work, unless it's a really hard spanking, but I don't like to do that because I'm usually spanking out of anger. What am I supposed to do? Stay home-bound during the day until Seth comes home? I'm sorry, I just don't feel like that's realistic. My kids have to learn how to behave in public. Suggestions?
Friday, October 2, 2009
The 40 minute tantrum
Well, the 3's are definitely eventful. After a good afternoon of the girls pleasantly playing together, snuggling and playing with mommy...the happy times came to an abrupt halt. Just before dinner, we experienced the usual pre-dinner defiance of getting hands washed. Once the girls were in their booster seats, I put a bib on Emily and rolled up her sleeves because we were having spaghetti tonight and I didn't want to get sauce on her shirt. I proceeded to do the same with Savannah and she got mad, rolled her sleeves down and started throwing a fit. I told her to roll them back up or she'd have to take her shirt off to eat because I didn't want spaghetti sauce stains on her shirt. This made her even more mad and she yelled "no" and started kicking at me. I told her fine, then took off her shirt. Then the ultimate tantrum began. Lots of kicking and screaming while in her seat. Seth then took her to her room and put her in time out. The screaming got even louder and more shrill. This went on at this level for about 30 minutes and then she couldn't scream anymore, but she was still throwing a fit for another 10 minutes. We are trying not to give the girls any attention when they throw fits like that...so I sat outside her door, just waiting for her to calm down before I could go in to talk to her. That was hard, she was crying and very upset, but I knew she would learn that screaming and crying will not get her attention if I ignored it.
Finally once she calmed down I went into her room and picked her up and sat her on my lap and hugged her and told her we loved her and then explained why she was put in time out. The rest of the evening went so smoothly after that. She was extra cooperative at bedtime--no resistance at all. We'll see what tomorrow night holds.
Crazy Life
Since my last post, we have sold our house, looked at over 40 houses in less than a week, and finally have a contract on a newer house. We just got the inspection results and are now in the renegotiation period. We have asked that a window be replaced, a few repairs be made to the roof, and for a mitigation system (radon) as the test results were high. I have no idea if the sellers will agree to any of those requests, but it never hurts to ask. We are still set to close on the house October 12th.
I think we have to absolutely crazy to be trying to do all this with two 3 year olds in the house. Emily and Savannah are definitely picking up on my stress, busy schedule, and lack of attention to them. I have never let them watch so much TV until this past week! On top of all that--both of them are now sick with a cold and are extra grumpy. Also, the 3year old stubborness is showing it's face. Holy cow--I had no idea there could be so many fights over the silliest and stupidest things! Sometimes it's EVERYTHING. Today is one of those days, from diaper changes to washing hands, to eating, to nap time, or just being plain civil to mommy and daddy and sister--there has been a fight. This has been my week. I am just about to go crazy. I work on Sunday, so that will at least give me some sort of break, but I know from here on out until we get settled into our new house, my days will likely be full of conflict, crying, and lots and lots of whining. What postive outlook, huh? I'm being realistic, at least if I expect the worst and it doesn't happen then that's something to be happy about.
I think we have to absolutely crazy to be trying to do all this with two 3 year olds in the house. Emily and Savannah are definitely picking up on my stress, busy schedule, and lack of attention to them. I have never let them watch so much TV until this past week! On top of all that--both of them are now sick with a cold and are extra grumpy. Also, the 3year old stubborness is showing it's face. Holy cow--I had no idea there could be so many fights over the silliest and stupidest things! Sometimes it's EVERYTHING. Today is one of those days, from diaper changes to washing hands, to eating, to nap time, or just being plain civil to mommy and daddy and sister--there has been a fight. This has been my week. I am just about to go crazy. I work on Sunday, so that will at least give me some sort of break, but I know from here on out until we get settled into our new house, my days will likely be full of conflict, crying, and lots and lots of whining. What postive outlook, huh? I'm being realistic, at least if I expect the worst and it doesn't happen then that's something to be happy about.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Happy 3rd Birthday to Emily and Savannah!
Well, today at 11:01pm and 11:07pm Emily and Savannah will officially be 3 years old. I don't think we'll actually wait that late to celebrate, though. We started off the morning with the girls waking up to balloons. Last night I went to Party City to get them each a Tinkerbell balloon and a Happy Birthday balloon. I did pick different Happy Birthday balloons to make it easier for them to know which balloons were their own. As I was getting out of bed, I heard a voice coming from the living room...not sure exactly who's it was--maybe Emily's, saying "Balloons! For me? Thank you, Daddy!". They love balloons, so I knew they would be excited. We then let them open presents from us. A pumpkin shirt for each of them, two Disney princess hair salon kits, complete with battery operated hairdryers,etc. They shared a Caillou video and a plastic farm animals set. I did have a couple of other gifts for them, but in all our hiding of clutter, I couldn't find them. Maybe those gifts will be good for Christmas--if I find them in time (hahahah!).
For lunch, the girls wanted to go to McDonalds, so we picked Seth up from work and all went to eat at McDonalds. The girls were happy and kept asking us if they were 3 now. So cute. Now, they are taking a nap and when they wake up we will decorate cupcakes. Great indoor activity as it is pooring down rain.
For lunch, the girls wanted to go to McDonalds, so we picked Seth up from work and all went to eat at McDonalds. The girls were happy and kept asking us if they were 3 now. So cute. Now, they are taking a nap and when they wake up we will decorate cupcakes. Great indoor activity as it is pooring down rain.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Peace in the house!
Finally, the girls are in a phase of life where we finally have peace in the house most of the time. I just realized I haven't called my parents as teachers counselor or educator at all this summer. What an improvement! In the last month I can actually say that most of my days I have really been enjoying being around my girls. They play together more and are fighting less. They seem to cooperate a bit more...at least when options are presented to them. They are in a very silly phase of life, and are asking lots of questions--not the why questions yet, but just about everything. Emily and I had a conversation about God and Jesus the other day. Mostly she was asking if they were going to come to our house, or if they were going to by our house. Then she said she was afraid of them and didn't want them to come. And then a few minutes later, she stated that she wanted God to hold her on his lap when he comes to our house. And then many questions revolving around that situation. Sometimes I'm not quite sure how to answer. I often get the feeling that Emily is frightened by the whole idea that God can be near us without us seeing him like we see each other everyday. I just bought some Bible lesson materials from Mardel and have set a goal to do one lesson per week with Emily and Savannah. I'm hoping that will help with the fear factor a bit. Emily is still afraid to say prayers to God. Savannah on the other hand, requests prayers for God to keep her safe "from the thunder and the lightning and the rain, and keep us safe when we are in the car wash". I hope that I can do a good job of presenting the lessons in a fun way.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Here We Go Again
This morning Savannah woke up saying she was itchy. When I was helping her get dressed, I noticed she had rash under her arms and on her torso and it was spreading down to her hands. I'm almost positive it's hives. I'm pretty sure I know what's causing it--Amoxicillian (Penicillian). She has been on that antibiotic for a Swimmer's Ear infection for 9 days...When Emily had a reaction to this same drug it was on the 10th day of her course of treatment. I'm allergic to it as well, so I guess I'm not surprised. I hope the one dose of Benadryl will take care of it. With Emily we had to load her up on baby prednisol, Benadryl, Zyrtec, and Zantac before she would quit having daily episodes of hives all over her body. Time will tell I guess.
What a busy summer! I haven't sat down much to write about our days because we have been so busy trying to get our house ready to sell. We've been painting, cleaning, fixing, and now photographing our house. It's a long process while trying to take care of 2 1/2 year old twins. Today I owe them some fun. We'll play at the park and swim and hopefully I'll still have energy left to start trying to clean out our basement.
What a busy summer! I haven't sat down much to write about our days because we have been so busy trying to get our house ready to sell. We've been painting, cleaning, fixing, and now photographing our house. It's a long process while trying to take care of 2 1/2 year old twins. Today I owe them some fun. We'll play at the park and swim and hopefully I'll still have energy left to start trying to clean out our basement.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
A Great Birthday Week
What a great birthday week! It started off a little hard with the adjustment back from having the girls gone for a few days at the grandparents, but Wednesday, my actual birthday was awesome. Seth took off work all day so that I could have a day to myself. I got to sleep in, go on a walk with my dog, shopping, and a massage. The best part of the day was when I came home from my massage, Savannah and Emily greeted me at the door and yelled "Happy Birthday! We made you a cake!" Seth had taken them to the grocery store to get a cake mix and frosting and then they all came home and baked the cake together. The girls love to help with baking, so they were so proud and excited about the birthday cake.
Then, today I got to hang out with a good friend while our kids played, then we even got some walking in. Later I took another friend's kids to play at the park and McDonald's with Emily and Savannah. They totally loved it! All four kids played so well together. The conversations in the van were entertaining as well. What a fun day!
Then, today I got to hang out with a good friend while our kids played, then we even got some walking in. Later I took another friend's kids to play at the park and McDonald's with Emily and Savannah. They totally loved it! All four kids played so well together. The conversations in the van were entertaining as well. What a fun day!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A Hilarious Coversation
So, today my girls were playing in their little kitchen and their toy telephone rings...to which Emily announces, " I think it's Michael Jackson calling. Yeah, it's Michael Jackson." Savannah replies, "No, he's not done dying yet." Emily responds, "Yeah, they put his body in a basket, a shiny basket." I thought this was hilarious.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
