My girls are growing up too fast.

Wow, a few weeks ago, it really hit me. Emily and Savannah will turn 5 years old in September. Where did the time go? I know for the past two years, things were rough with my depression, but now things are so much better and I am really enjoying all my time with the girls. It seems like this year just sped by way too quickly. I think I am starting to freak out a little...really feeling sad that the baby/toddler/preschool years are almost through. It seemed like it would take forever for them to be 5 years old and now in a few short months it will be upon us. They won't start Kindergarten for another year, so at least I will still have them home most of the time, but that doesn't seem like enough. Do all parents feel like this about their first born children? Or does this feeling come with each child, no matter how many children their parents have?

I've been thinking a lot about this. Am I finally at a point where I may want to add a child to our family? I've considered international adoption recently, but after doing extensive research, I'm just not sure that will be a realistic option financially. Seth wasn't too excited about the idea. In his words, it just seems difficult to go that route. Now, I have no problem having more children naturally, but I really felt there are children out in the world who really a need a loving home, and I was willing to be a part of giving a child a home...if it were just that easy.

So, now I find myself evaluating our situation. Can we afford another child, even if we go the biological route? Am I ready to be a stay a full-time stay at home mom for another 5-6 years? Will I have the energy? So many things to think about...and trying to think without emotionally charged reasoning is difficult. I never "planned" on having more than 2 kids, but I also never "planned" on having those 2 at the same time either. So, I guess I'll just pray about it for now. Pray for direction. Pray for peace about my girls growing up, enjoying each moment and age.