Hard day(s)

I am so frustrated today. The girls have been whining so much and fighting. They are in a phase right now of just being difficult to live with. I am so tired of trying to get them to help clean up their toys, or share toys, or take turns, or do anything I tell them. All I get is defiance. Emily and I were having a war over her stepping up onto the stepstool in our bathroom so she could wash hands. She wanted me to lift her up and place her on the top step. My left hand/thumb have been hurting for the past week and so I'm trying not to do any unnecessary lifting. So, I told her I couldn't lift her up and to just step up on her own. Big tantrum followed and she laid on the floor while Savannah and I ate breakfast. Later today, she goes into the bathroom on her own, and washes her hands all by herself. So, she doesn't NEED my help, but she likes to dictate and demand my help on many things that she can to do for herself. It drives me crazy. I know it's her age, but I can't wait for this phase to be over.

Part of the behavior problems I'm seeing lately are due to me being sick for the past 5 days. I don't know if it's a stomach bug, or just my body trying to adjust to a new birthcontrol pill, but I've been so nauseated and had horrible indigestion and no appetite. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch. All that is very similar to when I was pregnant with the girls, only then it was easier because I didn't have to care for anyone, and now that's a bit different. This whole experience brought back the memory of how sick I was while pregnant, and how long it lasted (week 9--17). I'm pretty much convinced that I just can't go through another pregnancy experience and remain sane or be a good mom. I'm not good when I feel sick. I'm grouchy, I don't want to be touched--just leave me alone and let me sleep until this yuck feeling goes away. That doesn't go over too well with my two 2 yr. olds. And, I cannot stand feeling nauseated for days and days. I remember around week 13 of my pregnancy that I was crying and telling Seth I hated everything and I never, ever wanted to be pregnant again. So, I really think I'm done having kids. I'm already planning to get rid of most of my stuff, except for a few things that my brother and his wife might want me to save for them to use when the time comes.

Now, if I can just get through the rest of today. Yikes, so much house work--the laundry is piled so high--literally, it's about 3 feet away from the ceiling in the corner of our hallway. Yep--whenI feel sick, I pretty much just stop doing everything. Poor Seth, he's had to play the role of single parent these past few days. He's such a good dad. :) Hopefully the girls will be in better moods when they wake up. I finally cut feet off the one-piece pajamas and have been putting them on Savannah backwards during naptime. This makes the 3rd day and she has not figured out how to get out of them (unlike a few days ago--she got out of the overalls and the duct tape). We'll see how long it lasts.